| Things to avoid on a first date |
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| Contributed by Cjay | ||
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The day finally arrives when, following a year of piecing together your broken heart, you decide that it’s now time to move on. You’re ready to start your search for Mr Right. Unfortunately, the thought of dating again is a scary one. It’s years since you’ve been on a ‘first date’ and you can’t remember what your first date with your ex was like. Or is it that we just don’t want to remember! The thing is you really want to get it right this time. All your friends will be talking about your return to the dating circuit, discussing what type of guy you should be looking for etc. You’ll usually find that you have at least one friend who is hell bent on finding you Mr Right. You will probably be feeling nervous, tense, uneasy, even scared, then, one of your friends tells you that she has found you this amazing guy and she has arranged a date for you. As your friend sustains her barrage of this guys good points and of course how hunky and gorgeous he is, you mind has gone into panic with first date nerves and anxiety and yet the actual date hasn’t even arrived yet. All sorts of things will be going through your mind…..will I mess it up?….Is he as good as my ex?……(Now come on, we all think it, even if we do know deep down that if the last one had been that good then you’d still be together!)…Will you have anything in common?…..will you get tongue-tied?… Even worse, what if neither of us can think of anything to say? We all get jittery about it. Are we really ready to go back on the dating circuit and we dread the thought of being a rotten date. All of these reactions are normal so don’t worry about it. We all feel the same, we may not admit it, but, trust me, we do. You shouldn’t beat yourself up over how you are feeling and you most certainly should not think of cancelling. You can do it! It’s just a case of being aware of the things to steer clear of to ensure you have a successful date. Some Important Points To Remember1. Don’t be late This is your big night, you could be meeting with the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with, so don’t ruin your chances by rushing everything. Get organised. Pick your outfit the day before, take your time and ensure everything is perfect down to the smallest detail. Don’t leave everything to the last minute and then try to get ready in 5 minutes. You should be ready and waiting when your date knocks on the door. You are trying to create the right impression, so don’t keep him waiting. 2. Don’t go on about previous relationships You’re going out to enjoy yourself, have some fun and get to know your date. Whinging on about your latest break-up and dwelling on the past is something your friends are there to help you with. You want to start afresh with this guy. You want to be finding out all about him. Instead of talking about the past, find out what work he does….hobbies…. interests….sports etc. You will, I’m sure, find something you have in common (why else would your friend have set you up with him?) and before you know it, you’ll have been talking for hours and enjoying every second of it. (You know what they say….’how time flies when you are having fun!’) 3. Don’t get tongue-tied Try to keep the conversation going. I know this can be difficult at first, but relax and you will find it easier. Apparently, men want their women to be witty and sensible. Don’t give monosyllabic answers. He is trying to get to know you, talk about yourself. Don’t sit there with nothing to say, initiate a conversation, show you are interested in what he has to say. 4. Don’t compare him to the Ex Now we all know that this is difficult, especially if the previous guy really hurt you, but this guy is totally different. He is not responsible for the actions of all other men. Don’t stereotype, it will only end in disaster if you do. Remember that the ex can’t be that good or you’d still be with him!!! 5. Appearance You are looking for Mr Right, so it’s important to make a good impression. Look your best, but don’t be outrageous and scare him off. You want to make him feel proud to be on a date with you. Have a long soak in the bath. Make sure you smell nice and look good. 6. Don’t be silly You’re sitting there with your hunky date and you’ve asked him about his hobbies, he launches into a description of his last ice hockey game telling you how “his team mate cleared the puck with a blind pass from the crease lines, causing it to be a dead puck…..’ Now what do you do? Pretend you know what he is talking about? You will end up saying all the wrong things and making yourself look silly, or even worse. Box clever. Ask him questions about it; get him to explain it to you. He will be really chuffed that you are taking an interest in what he is talking about. 7. Don’t be distant Remember that this is the ‘first date’ for both of you. Your hunky guy will be feeling as nervous and anxious as you are. Don’t make him feel worse by being haughty or unsociable. Be friendly, smile at him, and let him see that you are enjoying being with him. If he feels that you are enjoying spending time with him he is more likely to ask you on another date. 8. Don’t be nervous The key here is to have fun. If you are enjoying yourself, your nervousness will disappear without you even realising it. Be confident show him that you are in control, when you answer his questions, look him straight in the eye. Apparently guys love women who are empowered, so give him your best smile, and show him that you are not only beautiful but intelligent and witty too. Above all be yourself. Act naturally and have fun. Happy dating folks. Only registered users can write comments.
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