| Coffee Culture |
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| Written by Baz | ||||
It seems to me these days that the world is full of people who desperately try just to be cool all the time. Even down to what they eat and drink must be modern and cosmopolitan. Have these people simply got more money than brains?
I think they just order these foods because it makes them sound more "cool" in the queue at the local cafe... but what they dont know is, people stood behind them, who are of the "ordinary and happy" ilk, are pissing themselves laughing at them! What pillocks! The other day, I was stood in a queue behind some arsehole.. you know the type: "Gimme a latte, easy on the milk and a philly cracker with couscous"... what a complete jerk! Of course, it sounds more "Mr Modern" than saying "Pie and chips with a cup of coffee please" but so what? It was blatantly obvious he was only ordering it to impress the tart in the queue who would likely think "ohh, a modern man.. how cool!". In actual fact, she went on to order a plate of chips and a cup of tea and probably thought he was a right tosser. And how right she was! People in the UK are no longer content with being individual and having a mind of their own. All they wanna do is be like somebody else. In my opinion, the victims of the "coffee culture" have just watched too many episodes of Friends... you know, that annoying american programme where the storyline and punchlines are about as original and predictive as the people who order the coffee's just to be like them. These same people are the type who spout "cool" cliched catchphrases like "shall we do coffee?" meaning "shall we go and have a cup of coffee in our lunchbreak" or the equally cool sounding "Shall we do lunch" as opposed to "shall we go and have dinner together?" Ohhh, they are so cool, its almost unbelievable! I wish I was like them... NOT! So, to spout another cool catchprase.. "the bottom line is" that if you want to be really cool and seen to be one of these daft gits who wander down to their local pasta bar every lunchtime and order some frappe or latte or some other nonesense (essentially, just a 50p cup of coffee... but costing £3) and then order a cheese salad with celery and other "look at me im cool" products, then you have all the information you need on this page. Me personally, Id rather have a mind of my own and order what I actually like, even if it does make the coffee brigade think im uncool because I happen to like fish and chips. Oh, and of course, because I dont want to try and be American. Why would I wanna be American? 80% of their population is obese, and the other 20% are too busy being cool to notice the rest of the world. Arrogant arseholes. Only registered users can write comments.
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; "Lets do lunch.. prats!")